As we approached the first holiday season without my Dad, I've been feeling VERY overwhelmed. I was wondering how things would work without him here. I was worried the family gatherings would be a sad mess. I was afraid that some of my family (myself included) would not be able to face the day without him there. Yesterday was the get-together for his side of the family, and just like the other milestone days that I have worried myself sick over...it went fine. Of course, we all missed him, but we were able to talk about him without any major breakdowns (it sounds like we all had them at home earlier) and get through that first holiday. For that, I am thankful.
It is sad to me how it is becoming "normal" to not have him here, but that is how it is starting to feel already. I guess it speaks of how close we were though, it's only been 6 months, but we talked so often that his abscence was felt right away. As time has moved on, it has become obvious that I can't call him, or that I will no longer talk with him on facebook or email. And those things are still there. His e-mails are still there, the songs & pictures that he would send me are still there. His posts on facebook, his silly jokes, and more songs he loved (or dedicated to us) are still there. For all of those things, I am thankful.
So today I have a renewed strength. I feel strong to have made it through yesterday...and of course, the last 6 months. I just keep going, and life with my kids makes that so much easier because I can't stop caring for their needs. They still get up on the days when I'd rather not. They still need me to bake cupcakes and host sleepovers and play and craft and be their Mommy, even on days when those simple things are hard to do. For that, I am also thankful.
Today's busy work is Ava & I baking turkey cupcakes (probably the same as these) for her Thanksgiving feast at preschool tomorrow. She has been such a big helper in the kitchen, and can hardly wait until we can ice them :)
*I am going to try to come back for the next week and post the other things I am thankful for...I'm still hoping to get back to blogging, so maybe this will help!
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