{Ahh..the little things}

A rainy day

Today was one of those days that some people complain about...but for me, a rainy day usually means we slow down & hang out at home.  And sometimes, like today, that means a day full of relaxing and quiet times.  The kids have been busy watching videos, reading library books & playing games...and I have been relaxing here on the computer reading too.

I wish I could say the reading material has been something I am happy to read about, but that is not exactly true.  I would rather not even know the word that I sometimes allow myself to type into google.  Even more than that, I wish I was not so familiar.  The word is suicide.  And the reason is the death of my Dad on May 20, 2010.

Since then, I have spent MANY hours researching.  For me, I know it is one of the ways of dealing with the unanswered "Why?" question that plagues those who have lost a loved one in this way. And sadly, the ONLY person who can answer any part of that heavily loaded question is not here to ask.  My Dad did leave a note, or I guess you could say notes...but even his well written reason behind his actions couldn't help us to understand how someone so kind, loving & happy could hold such pain in such secrecy.

Today, I clicked from link to link, blog to blog and read about other people who have connections to the same dark word.  It is strange how I can want to be involved with making people aware through places like this site, yet then also be comforted in reading about other families who have ben touched by suicide.  I'm sure part of it is the fact that no one likes to feel alone, but it's also more than that...I am an optimist, and I like to read of people who OVERCOME.  But, as I sit here this afternoon & read story after story, I see people who have trouble doing that.  I see people who, after years & years, still carry the pain as if it just happened.  One woman even said "when a person commits suicide they do not end their pain; they give it to us to bear for them, for the rest of our lives!" How true that can be.

For me, there will always be a part that carries pain, BUT there is also a place in my spirit that KNEW (even the very day that my Dad died) that I would not let anger or sadness be all that I lived. I knew I couldn't live like that, I knew I couldn't raise my kids like that or be a good wife to my husband like that.  I have asked the questions, I have read the books.  I have prayed & leaned on God's promises like I never had to before.  I have surrounded myself with positive people, I have joined support groups, I have allowed others to help me.  

And finally, I have lived.  I have overcome.

gratitude

For the small things, and the big things. For ALL of the things I take for granted.

I heard of a good friend going through a divorce after 18 years, another friend is pregnant, and now a single Mom - of course she never planned it that way.

I went to the hospital FOUR times with a loving, supportive husband and came home all four times with healthy children to a clean, happy home. Who knew that wasn't what everyone did? Did I feel grateful, absolutely! But I also have grown to see my kids & husband as a normal part of my life, not as the GIFTS that they all are to me.

Today, I have a change in in perspective. I have such GRATITUDE for the life I live each day. For the things I consider normal, for the everyday stuff....I'm just so thankful.

can't stop pinning!

new start...Day 1

So, it has been months since I've written a post & over a year since I posted regularly. I know it is the ease of facebook that has interrupted me, but I have this feeling that facebook will someday lose it's excitement, and I will have wasted time there when I could have been posting here instead. I've mentioned many times how much I enjoy looking through my archives - it is exactly like a journal, showing me where I (we) have been, how things have changed, and how time just keeps marching on.

Right now, we are mid-summer - which for us means lots of POOL days :) We aren't camping near as much this year...it has either been rainy (spring) or hot HOT hot, so we've done some other fun things instead. One of the family faves was a water park - the kids are all (almost) big enough to enjoy all of the rides there. We went for Zander's birthday, and he was LOVING it. He is still so short, but there he was just a 1/2 in above the requirement for the big slide you can ride on the tubes. He had the best birthday ever :)

The kids are all growing up so much, I think I will dedicate the next few posts to share a little about each of them - it will be fun to think over each of them & find a picture to share. I know that i will enjoy having the posts to look back on too! Kaden is now 11, Ellie is 9, Zander is 7 & Ava is 4 - everyone but Zander has a fall b-day coming up though, so all of those ages will be changing here in the next 3-4 mths! Times goes by so quickly....

introducing you

to a friend of mine, and to her new blog & business. 

I am excited for her to have the chance to be a stay home Mommy becuase I know how much it has meant to me to be able to share these last 11(!?!) years with my kids. 

I wish she would have owned this site when me (and many of my blogging friends) were addicted to cloth diapering!  We could have kept her business booming, I bet :)  Thanks for checking her out!

And speaking of home based business, I am starting something new as well!  I am now selling Thirty-One gifts...I am SOOO excited about it.  They have such cute purses & totes for organizing your home.  And the kids line of stuff is ADORABLE - I love the little totes and aprons ♥  Here is a link to my personal website if you are interested in checking it out.

♥ Happy Valentine's Day ♥

Christmas letter ...

 Merry Christmas 2010 to all of our friends & family...

 

 

Over the years, I have always enjoyed receiving Christmas cards. Even before I had a family of my own, I remember looking through the ones that would come to my Mom & I. I always loved the ones that had pictures & really enjoyed the few that had taken time to write letters. As I grew to have my own family, I always thought I would someday do the same. It was not until this year, when I lost my Dad, that I decided to finally do it. He had saved his cards & letters from the last 5+ years, and I enjoyed looking through the cards and reading the letters all over again (and some for the first time). So, here it is...our first official Jones Family Christmas Letter :)

Our four kids are growning up so fast, I can hardly believe that it has already been 11 years since Kaden was born. Ellie is now 9, Zander is 6 & Ava just turned 4. They keep us very busy with sports, girl scouts, and school activities - but we would not have it any other way. In fact, this spring we added to our family! We got a little shih-zhu puppy named Charlie Bear, and he has fit right into our family. He has become a big part of our lives already, we love him so much - he is very sweet little guy.

Like most summers, we spent our days at the pool, and our weekends camping. We made the trip back to Indiana Dunes once again this year. This is the 2nd year we've gone, and the kids love it so much that we think we may have to make it a tradition to visit each summer. This fall was the first year that we had three kids playing soccer (yes, I may have complained my way through the entire season...) and it is also the first time that all four of the kids are in school (5th, 3rd, Kindergarten & preschool). I thought that day might never arrive! Of course, I find ways to keep myself busy though. I am still the craft coordinator of my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group & I also do the Ladies Bible Studies (both offered at UVCC) and enjoy them both very much. Harry is still running his own construction business, and loves what he is doing. I am so thankful for his hard work over the years, as it has allowed for me to stay home with the kids - something we both feel strongly about. Our family is still attending Ginghamsburg church for worship each week, and we could not be happier there.

Looking back, this has been a very hard year, for obvious reasons. The loss of my Dad has been the hardest thing that our family has ever had to endure. Thankfully though, we are never alone in our grief - we've got our family & friends surrounding us, as well as SO many wonderful memories of what a great man my Dad was.

We hope & pray that this letter finds you all enjoying the Christmas season, and taking time to remember why it is that we are celebrating. Love & Blessings - Harry, Angi, Kaden, Ellie, Zander & Ava

 

"The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen." Rev 22:21

...

memory quilt

First, let me say that I would never have dreamed that I would be writing this post. 

I have always wanted a quilt made from some of my kids baby things, and figured one day I might pay to have one made with the teeny little things I had been saving.  I imagined my kids looking at the quilt as adults and smiling at how tiny they once were, and being happy that I cared enough to save these things through the years.   Never once did I think I was able to make it myself :)

After my Dad had passed away, one of my Mom's best friends (so close growing up that I called her an aunt) sent me the book "Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul".  I found so much comfort in those stories...stories of loss AND overcoming. 

  Many of the stories told of how they were able to heal, and one of them mentioned a quilt made from the clothing of their loved one called a memory quilt. Immediately I knew I had to try it!  I did not get much of my Dad's favorite clothes like I had hoped (looong story) so I was worried about how I could use the ones I had & make it special.  Then I had the idea to add in fabrics that represented my Dad and the things he loved.

It took me only a few days start to finish.  Yes, it was ALL I did for those days.  I was so focused on the process & I know it was so healing for me to handle all of that fabric, all of which reminding me of him.  I am SO happy with it, and it gets alot of use around here :)  It is the perfect size & is backed with a very soft flannel.

                                                            

 

You can see some of the many things in the above pic... music, fishing, pool, bowling, the Browns, gardening, purple velvet for his love of Crown Royal, two pink squares for each of his 2 girls, hawaiian print for his shirts, and most of the plain fabric is his old t-shirts.  The pictures are also special - one is taken at work, one on his boat, one is 4 wheeling in his jeep & then there are the M&M's because he would always bring the kids some when he would visit.  Love it.

 

exciting stuff

There are quite a few exciting things happening around here, but there is one BIG thing...we're moving :)

We've lived here for nearly 10 years, and I am guessing for about 5-6 of those we've wanted a bigger house.  We outgrew this one much more quickly than we expected, but we've stayed much longer than I thought we could.  It is literally bursting with our things - there is not a space in it that is not filled with stuff.  Toys, books, craft supplies, photo albums, keepsakes, clothes (x6)...and you get the idea.  We need more room!

Like I said, we've been looking for quite a while but have found we are pretty darn picky.  There are things we need, things we want...but all of which I was likely to trade for MORE room.  So, when we found a house that had the garage, off street parking, a non-busy street (right now we live on a state route - ugh!), nice sized yard AND double the living space, we were beyond excited.  And even better?  This was a foreclosed property, and we got it for way below it's appraised price.  We are so excited & should find out in the next few days when we can close on it.  It needs some work, but we are also excited about that.  I love picking out paint colors, and am looking forward to new flooring, etc.  I will be sure to take some before and after pictures to share.

Such an exciting new journey...