We all know that we, as Moms, long for some treasured alone time.
I've left the house many nights after Harry arrived home, just to intentionally be alone for a little while. Most of those times, I just run to pick up something, and am back home within the hour. I do the grocery shopping alone (most of the time) and run here or there alone, but for the most part, I always have kids along. There are other times when I have plans to go out, either with Harry or with friends, and then I am out of the house...yet not alone. Then, there was last night. We had a sitter lined up, and a date planned. He calls to let me know he is still working (way too close to time to leave in my opinion, but that is another story...) and just will not be able to make it home in time. So, I decide to leave anyway. No plans, no kids. Sounds great to me.
Then I realize that I have never really been alone in years.
Sure, I LOVED my quiet apartment in college (I lived alone my last summer there). I could curl up in my bed, or on the couch & read. I would listen to music for HOURS on end. I would scrapbook, I could watch tv...the time was all mine. But now, here, some 10 years later I was at a loss.
We did not need groceries. I really did not have anything else I "needed" to shop for, plus shopping was not what I had in mind. I had planned on a nice, quiet dinner, and now I was alone. I realized that I had never eaten alone in a restaurant, never went to a movie alone. Never been alone without an intention to do so.
I started thinking of all those times when we say "If I only had ONE HOUR to myself...what would I do?" My first thought was a pedicure, then I wished that I had my laptop so that I could sit at the little coffee shop and relax, drinking an iced chai while confidently sitting alone, like I always see other people doing. Then I thought about shopping, or reading...but where? I like to curl up with a book, and I could not really think of where I could go to be comfy, yet still away from home.
I finally thought of all kinds of things I could do, but still wasn't sure what I wanted to do.
So, first I hit the book store. Ahh....I picked out a Jodi Picoult book, and then browsed some kids books before deciding that I was getting hungry. I thought that now since I had a new book, I could still go to the coffee shop. They have couches, maybe I could read there, and enjoy my new book. But, I soon remembered I had never dome this alone. It was dinner time, so the place would be busy. Would I see people I knew? Would they wonder why I was alone? Did that mean that I just could not find anything better to do? Or could I have intentionally decided to come eat out alone? Did people do that?
I parked the car, threw the book into my purse, and got out. I kept thinking about my iced chai :) Of course, it was busy when I opened the door. I looked around quickly and saw someone I knew right away. Oh well I thought...I can do this. I walk up to order my food, and I saw that they had computers lining the one wall, and had forgotten that you can use the ones there. I had always thought of bringing my own, so never really paid much attention. As I order, I asked about the computers, and figured that would keep me occupied for a while (it always does, LOL)! I paid for an hour and sat to log on and wait for my food. I relax finally, and my hour flies by.
I leave feeling renewed in more ways than one...
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